Museum of Natural History

The Brain

My wife and I went with her parents (it was her idea) to the Museum of Natural History this past weekend.  What a shitshow.  Never go to a museum in a major city at any point during a 3 day weekend.

Mrs. Rogers wanted to see an exhibit that we’d seen advertisements for, “Brain: The Inside Story”.

We called her parents at 8:30 in the morning to see if they wanted to go.  We woke them up.  It is my divine pleasure to listen to Mrs. Rogers giggle deviously, and this was no exception.

Then we sat around watching TV for an hour until her parents called us.  They were ready to go.  We hadn’t even brushed our teeth yet, let alone gotten dressed.  This is the story of my life with Mrs. Rogers.  We hustled through the routine and were out the door 32 minutes later.

Her parents had thought ahead and eaten before they left the house.  We were convinced that it would be easy to grab some coffee and a croissant and eat on the train.  Wrong.  The train was packed and the coffee spilled in the bag, soaking the croissants.  There is almost nothing worse than trying to eat a coffee soaked croissant while standing in a packed subway car.  Except maybe milking a feral cat.  That might be worse.

So we eventually make it to the museum.

Tickets are $24/per person, which is steep for any show in NYC, unless it’s Spider Man the musical.  I would pay $25 to see that. So it’s $48 later, and we’re searching for coat check.  Fortunately, we make it in before they close coat check because it’s full.  All I can do is think about the poor bastards that have to carry around their winter coats in this madhouse.

We have 45 minutes to kill before the next wave opens at the brain exhibit.  I want to see dinosaurs.

This is the point where I find out that it’s possible to fit 90 baby strollers into an elevator.  When we got to our floor, we came pouring out of that thing like it was a clown car on fire…

There is nothing more humbling than stepping into a room and seeing the skeleton of a  20 foot tall, 35 foot long T-Rex looking down at you.  Those things are massive.  Like impossible-to-imagine-because-they’ve-been-dead-for-30-million-years massive.  What I found really surprising though was the fact that the Hall of Saurischian Dinosaurs (scary, meat eating dinos) was packed, and the Hall of Ornithischian Dinosaurs (significantly less scary, mostly bovine dinos) was nearly empty.  More proof that everyone hates vegetarians.

It’s finally time to enter “THE BRAIN”. (insert impending doom music here)

We’re greeted by this really cool looking sign:

I’m not going to bore you with the details, but suffice to say that, although interesting, I would choose to look all of that up on the internet and spend the money on 5 years worth of Drano instead. 

And don’t act like your toilet doesn’t clog at least once a year too…